where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
