As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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