I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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