I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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