i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
only you would photoshop your dick
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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