help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
