just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
