Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
