i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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