i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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