Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
