turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
