something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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