So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
