I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I have already put on my inside pants.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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