I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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