Do vagina's smell?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize
