It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Everyone says I win the strip club
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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