she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
