I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
