THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
