i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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