so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I didn't notice because vodka
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
