Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
