On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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