my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
