Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
