i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
