I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
