the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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