Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Randomize
