I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
