smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
