i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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