She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
