im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Randomize
