told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
