The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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