Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
