You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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