You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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