well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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