big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
