I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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