he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
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