Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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