i don't like sucking hair
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
