HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
This toilet bowl is my home.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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