If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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