You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
