i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
My bed is full of blood and feathers
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize
